For many families there will be a school break of some sort in the next few weeks and, whether you are staying home or going away, here are some tips to help make sure you have a great time:

1. Set loving limits
Behaviour doesn’t take a vacation–it comes with you. Start as soon as you get in the car/to the airport/in the taxi by being fair and kind, but firm right from the get go. This will help your kids know what kind of behaviour you expect for the rest of the trip. It can be counterintuitive because we want to make sure that everyone is having fun, but setting limits early means everyone will be much happier for the rest of the trip.

2. Before you leave – take the whole family to a restaurant with the intention of leaving if need be
If you will be eating at a lot of restaurants on your vacation, then try this little trick. Before your trip, go to a restaurant and let them know that if there is any misbehaving, you will leave. Expect to go home with your meals in a box and be ready for it, then if they misbehave–leave. This will show your kids that you are prepared to do this at restaurants or other activities on vacation as well.

3. Front Load – let them know how you expect them to behave and how you will help them
Start talking to your kids a couple of days before the trip about what kind of behaviour you expect. Decide on what consequences there will be if they misbehave so they know ahead of time and can make good choices. Let them know you will help them with reminders to make those good choices.

4. Talk about the kind of behaviour you expect between siblings
Explain that negative behaviour between siblings gets in the way of everyone’s fun; good behaviour (such as compliments or encouragement) will help make everyone happy. Catch them being kind or thoughtful to one another.

5. Set your own realistic expectations
We think that because we’re going on vacation, all of the things that drive us crazy here at home will go on vacation too. This is usually not the case, and we need to make sure our own expectations are realistic so that we aren’t disappointed.

6. Make sure there is quality family time and alone time each day
As parents, we also want to get in some “me” time during the vacation. Make sure you do some “together activities” that let you and the kids connect – really get in there and play with the kids – then you can tell them that mommy and daddy need time to be adults and they will respect that.

7. Create a trip agenda
Kids like to have some structure. Creating an agenda lets them know what is going to happen each day and helps them to set expectations. It doesn’t have to be detailed or rigid, just give them a sense of what to expect each day, building in lots of time for transitions like getting ready and organized.

8. Stick to bedtimes
Keeping, within reason, the same routine you have at home will ensure they are well-rested each day. It doesn’t have to be the same time as at home, just make sure it’s as consistent as possible. Tiredness is one of the leading causes of difficult behaviour.

9. Make sure to schedule in some downtime
No matter what age we are, we all need a bit of down time each day when we are on vacation. Take some time each afternoon to relax – and have some quite moments away from distractions, programs and groups of people. This will keep kids from getting overwhelmed and over-stimulated and keep everyone in good spirits.

10. Be playful, loving and silly
A vacation is a great time to bond, cuddle and spend lots of quality time together. Make sure to laugh, be silly and really enjoy the moment–sometimes we can get so caught up in organizing everyone that we lose the joy in it all.

Jennifer Kolari is a child and parent therapist, and found of Connected Parenting. For more information you can contact jennifer at [email protected] or visit www.connectedparenting.com.

Tags: good behaviour on vacation, jennifer kolari, kids behave restaurant, kids happy holiday, march break ideas, march break with kids, spring break kids, travel tips kids

This entry was posted on Friday, February 26th, 2010 at 6:28 pm and is filed under Jennifer's Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.