My husband and I had purchased a house four days after Kyla was born. And–NO–in case you’re wondering it is not a good idea to buy a home when you’ve just had a newborn. Packing and preparing for a move all while nursing a newborn every two hours was stressful. How much can you accomplish when you have to stop, nurse, change and play with your baby every hour or two? Half the time I could not remember where I left off when I returned to packing. I was also still recovering from my C-section so moving around in general was slow and painful.

After we moved, however, I didn’t feel any more relaxed. Another major stress was hanging over my head. My brother Warren was dying.

Warren had been off work since November 2007, when he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. In a small blessing, my maternity leave gave me the time to spend with him before he passed away in September 2008. I was able to share my new baby with him and spend precious time with him.

Ironically, Warren’s diagnosis came the day after I told him I was pregnant. I had six months left in my pregnancy and he was given six months to live.

Warren fought hard and thankfully I was able to share my precious little girl with him. I remember the first time he met Kyla. Warren held her and kissed her and told her silly stories about me as a little girl, it was both beautiful and heart breaking. Warren and I spent our visits talking and reminiscing about our childhood laughing and joking with each other, we would also talk about the fun our kids would have growing up together. Warren had a son James with his wife Christine the year before.

I had to remain strong and hopeful during our visits. Warren had such a positive attitude about his recovery that I did not want to show him any negative emotion. Throughout his entire illness, he (and our family) never gave up hope that he would recover and beat cancer. When Warren died, I realized I wanted my life to change. I wanted more time to spend with the people I cared about. I revaluated my plans and decided to take the full year of maternity leave.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I swore off all forms of caffeine (milk chocolate excluded – a mom-to-be needs at least one vice). It took me 1.5 years to get pregnant and I wasn’t about to risk anything. Our site has touted the risks of drinking coffee while pregnant. Drinking less than a tall Starbucks coffee can double your risk of miscarriage. Likewise, I avoided coffee during the first six months of breastfeeding. What if my baby was a slow caffeine metabolizer?

Then came pregnancy number two. Busy with a toddler, I no longer had time for afternoon naps. I had to work in the evenings so no early to bed either. And once baby actually came? Forget about more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. Saying no to coffee just wasn’t an option. Yes, I tried to keep my intake low. Latte’s instead of regular java (less than a third the caffeine) and only one cup a day. If I was having a really rough day I’d also indulge in a tea. But I still felt guilty.

So I was happy to hear there may actually be good health news for coffee drinkers. New research shows that drinking coffee lowers the risk of developing throat cancer. Compared with people who did not drink coffee, drinking one or more javas a day can cut your risk of mouth, pharynx and esophagus cancer in half.

I’m not going to switch from a daily latte to coffee until I’ve finished breastfeeding (even though it is getting pricey – Starbucks loves me) but at least I can rest assured that my habit may be doing some good. And I’m sure my infant isn’t getting much (if any) of the the minimal amount of caffeine I’m actually consuming.